GRAMMATICALLY CORRECT, THROUGH AND THROUGH

It's no secret that I'm a bit of a snob when it comes to the English language. I get really annoyed when people use "good" instead of "well." The word "good" is an adjective, while "well" is an adverb. One does something well. "Well" describes the doing, a verb. A dinner can be good. "Good" describes the dinner, a noun. Although a dinner can be prepared well, the dinner itself is good, unless it is "well-done." A steak may be cooked through or "well-done" and prepared well, but the steak and the dinner themselves may be described as "good." Simple enough, right?

When people misuse words or punctuation in common speaking or casual letter-writing, my ire is minimal. It's when professionals mangle the language (or "manglage") that I get mad enough to tell you people.

Last year we ordered my son a cute bedsheet/pillowcase set from COMPANY KIDS which is owned by THE COMPANY STORE. The sheet's design is a pattern of generic superheroes and comic book sound effects. The package arrived. We unpacked it, washed it and put it in his bed. Only then did we see the problem:
(click to see bigger images)


In two instances they misused the word "threw" instead of the word "through."
I pondered it for a while. We couldn't return it since it was already washed, but even if we did return it, my son had already seen it and enjoyed it. I decided to give it a shot, and tell the company about their defective product. Maybe they'd reimburse me. At the very least I wanted them to pull the item.

So I went on their website and used their online form to send them a question. I told them about the error and asked what could be done about it. I didn't give my name, my order number...nothing. I got a response the next day saying that because my 90 days were up, I couldn't return it.

HUH? It WASN'T 90 days and how would they even know if it was? I didn't give my name or order information. Now I was determined to get some results, now that they'd dismissed me out of hand. I wrote back, giving all my information this time. The next response I got from the company was this:

"Thank you for your inquiry. They are spelled that way because it is a cartoon character and that is the way they are.”

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? First they blew me off and now they're giving me attitude, like I'M the one in the wrong? We Googled the company to find their head office contact information. We wrote up a letter to their CEO. An excerpt of that letter is below:

This is a product for children. You are a company that caters to children. To say that an obvious misuse of a word is fine because it’s a cartoon character is unacceptable. This is not a playful misspelling or a pun; this is a mistake. The wrong word is used. This isn’t “Sooperman” or “Kid’z Korner.” This is a blatant error.

My son likes the design of this item, and we have explained about the misspellings. However, I feel that this product is defective and I would like a refund, or a credit towards a future purchase. We have always been happy with your products in the past. If I cannot get my money back for this item, I understand. My greater concern is other children getting this set and growing up using the wrong word because they sleep next to a grammatical error that nobody cares enough to fix. I am an educator and I know first-hand that our children are exposed to enough misspellings and bad punctuation by people who don’t know any better, without having The Company Store telling children that it cares so little about them that it would knowingly sell written materials with multiple errors. This item needs to be pulled until you have fixed the problem.

Additionally, in researching your company in an effort to find out to whom to write, I examined your website at http://www.hanoverdirect.com/. Please be aware that on the front page you have a title listing “Our Brand’s”. This, too, is incorrect. Your “brands” are plural, and do not need an apostrophe. You are, however, clearly in need of an editor.



A few weeks after that letter went out we received a phone call from Company Kids thanking us for pointing out the error and apologizing for it. A few weeks after that we received a credit for the sheets. So in the end we got to keep the sheets AND got our money back. If you go to the Company Kids' website the design is still there, however. Apparently you can view the pattern in detail. If you know what to look for, you can see the misspellings are still on the sheets they are selling. So we won the battle but not the war. Not yet, anyway.