THE JOB FROM HELL

Every once in a while I get a video job that is just more trouble than it’s worth, or something goes wrong, or the client is a pain in the ass. This Spring I had the ultimate.
Last year, I had done a video project for a client whom I will decline from naming. It paid well and this year, the client asked me to do the same kind of project for the same amount of money. It would be due May 3rd. In addition, she asked me to do an additional, secondary video project which would be longer, but not as important, but due sooner, April 30th. She also mentioned a much, much smaller project with no deadline, that I agreed to do for free, seeing as how I was getting a lot of work from her. We both agreed that the original project would be the priority. But as the event date of the second project got closer, the original project was put aside. I explained gingerly to my client that compromises would need to be made, since editing is time consuming and the deadline was looming. She agreed and proceeded in making change after change, sometimes changing her original changes. The stress of getting this job done and in time for me to finish the original job in time was intense. On top of all this, I was leaving for the Bahamas on May 5th for a week. So there was no room for delays on either of our ends.
The “secondary” project got done at the last possible minute and all was well. The only problem was that money was never discussed for this secondary project. It was understood I would be paid, but we never discussed an actual fee. The Primary project then got my furious attention and we hammered out a finished project on Saturday, April 29th, leaving me a single day to burn a master DVD and make copies and print labels. She wanted it FED EXed overnight on Monday, May 1st so she’d have it Tuesday the 2nd. I decided on a fee for the secondary project, based on the fee of the primary one. I thought it was fair, but I understood it was a lot of money, so I was expecting some kind of response to it.
I took the DVDs to the UPS Store and paid for the package to be delivered by 10:00am Tuesday. I happily drove home, mentally counting the money I was getting and feeling good that the job was done.

Silly me. Tuesday afternoon, around 5:00pm, I got a phone call from my client, who is in Manhattan, 30 miles away, asking why the package wasn’t there yet. I called up UPS, who told me that they had lost my package. That’s right. They lost it. They told me it was lost. They didn’t say it was “misguided” or “misrouted” or “experiencing a location problem” or any other euphemism. They told me it was lost and of course I would get my money back. Stunned, I called my client back. She told me that this package NEEDED to be in her hands by noon tomorrow, Wednesday. She “suggested” I call a courier service. Walsh Messenger Service had the biggest ad in the phone book. I called up and said, “Can you deliver a small package from Rockville Centre to Manhattan by noon tomorrow if you pick it up around 9:00am?” I was told this was no problem. I told them how UPS lost my stuff and they were as appalled as I was. Wednesday morning, I burned more copies of the DVD and printed more labels. The delivery guy showed up at my job at 8:45am. He waited while I finished. I paid him in cash and even gave him a $5.00 tip. He was out the door by 9:15am. Once again, I sat, relieved that the job was FINALLY done with.

Silly me. My client called me at 12:30pm and asked where the package was. She had held a meeting to view it, and a half hour later everyone left. She was in trouble with her superiors and I was getting yelled at. I never wanted to be in the Bahamas so much in my life. I was in my car and didn’t have Walsh’s info with me. Ten minutes later, at 12:40, my client called back saying they’d just gotten the package.
That night, I called Walsh Messenger Service, full of fury. “You told me you’d get it there by noon! What happened? My client needed it for a noon meeting!” The supervisor there responded that it was a “perfectly good delivery. 30 minutes late is acceptable. I said it wasn’t and demanded my money back. The woman on the other end…I swear to you…chuckled. “You want 100% back?” “Absolutely,” I answered, “I paid you to get it there by noon and you didn’t do it. The first thing I asked the woman when I called was ‘Can you get it there by noon?’ and she said yes.” The woman at Walsh asked me, in all seriousness, “Did she PROMISE you?” DID SHE PROMISE ME???? I wanted to reach through the phone and literally end this woman’s life. Simple physics were all that saved this woman and she had no idea. Apparently, when you hire Walsh Messenger Service, they deliver roughly a few hours before or after any time given. Specific times are not guaranteed. She now offered me 10% of the total, as a courtesy for my trouble. That was $4.00. I loudly explained that I had asked her company to deliver by noon and was told OK. The supervisor said they never promise exact times. I insisted that the other woman who had originally taken my order had done precisely that. So we had to wait a few days until the other woman came back to work so she could be asked about what she had actually said.
So, instead of sitting there, twiddling my thumbs, I decided to call UPS and yelled at them for a while. When they’d told me my package was lost, they also had told me that I would get a full refund. I was now asking for the courier service to be paid for by UPS, since UPS’s error caused me to hire Walsh. I also demanded the $100 of insurance that was automatically assigned to packages at UPS. I was told that since the item got there, I didn’t qualify for insurance. “The COURIER got it there, not YOU!” I bellowed. “No, I have in front of me that this was delivered by UPS and signed for at 1:00pm on Wednesday.” I couldn’t believe it. My client got both packages within a half hour of each other…both late. I was told that I was told there would be an investigation and I would be gotten back to.
All this under my belt, I went to the Bahamas and had a nice vacation. I came back a week later and picked things up.
The woman at the courier service was asked by her supervisor, my phone buddy, if she had promised me a noon delivery. Surprisingly enough, she didn’t remember the conversation. We were now at an impasse. I wanted my money back and she was not willing to give back more than half, and THAT was “as a courtesy” to me. I really didn’t want to back down. I had fought this woman, this company that wronged me, too long and for too hard to simply give in. But, our conversations had become automatic loops of “Yes you did” and “No I didn’t.” I finally told her that I was too tired to fight this anymore and please send me the half. She said OK and told me again how this was a courtesy to me because this was a perfectly good delivery. I interrupted her mid-sentence and said, “Well, we have very different opinions of what ‘courtesy’ means. I just don’t want to talk to you anymore. Do you have my address? Yes? Then please send the check.” I was told it would take 2 weeks. Four days later it occurred to me that I should have said, “2 weeks? You people can’t deliver ANYTHING on time, can you?” But I never did.
Meanwhile, I was waiting to hear back from Kelly, the supervisor at UPS. I called and left messages and sent faxes and waited and was told to try again “tomorrow.” Kelly was simply not answering my messages. I upped the messages to twice a day, telling her I would continue follow up. Finally, June 2nd, a month after the initial delivery, I got a call back. She told me that she was sending the check for the courier to me out of her own pocket. I was umoved by this charade of generosity. I said, “Great, what about the money I paid UPS for the initial delivery?” She told me they wouldn’t pay me for both things. I hung up and called the actual UPS store that I “delivered” from. Without explaining who I was, I asked if they had a policy for returning money if an item is mis-delivered. She said they refund it. I told her my situation and she agreed that I was entitled to my money back. She told me she would talk to her supervisor, Kelly, about it. At which point I practically collapsed into a heap of quivering jelly. “Fine.” I said. “I’ll wait for your call.”
Two days later, the nice lady at the UPS Store told me that my check was going out today and to have a nice day. I thanked her and waited. Then the checks came, finally. First came the check covering the cost of the courier, from UPS. You know, the one that Kelly paid for “out of her own pocket.” Yeah, well, the name on the check was something like: “Kavesha Industries, dba UPS Store.” Then I got the second UPS check and eventually the Walsh Messenger Service check.
So fine, I actually MADE money ($20.00) on the whole delivery fiasco, but what about the video projects? When I got home from the Bahamas, I saw I had an Email from my client, saying, in effect, “Whoa, this is WAY more than we had discussed!” I replied that it was fair, and we had actually never discussed a price. I maintained that if she had any emails from me, as she claimed, providing a fee for the secondary project, I would happily abide by them. If not, I told her, we’ll have to negotiate. So, clearly, I was ready to come down on my price if the need arose. She responded to me, saying that she was going away for the weekend but we could follow up on this after that. Fine.
Monday, in the mail, I got a check for the full amount of both jobs. I quickly deposited it and then sent an email to my client. I told her that the money thing was obviously resolved, but did she still want to work on the third, teeny, possibly free project? And if not, just let me know so I could send back the tons of source tapes and DVDs and CDs. I got no response. I sent another mail. No response.
I wish I had a better ending, like my client died or joined a cult or something, but I don’t. She’s not returning my emails and I’ve got tons of her stuff. I guess I’ll just throw it all in a box and UPS it to her….Bwahahahaha!!!!!

NORTHPORT, New York (AP) -- Two high school seniors picked quotations from Adolf Hitler's book "Mein Kampf" to appear under their high school yearbook pictures, prompting school officials to apologize.

The quotes were picked by Christopher Koulermos and Philip Compton, both 18. Koulermos' read "Strength lies not in defense, but in attack." Compton chose "The great masses of people ... will more easily fall victims to a big lie than to a small one."

"It's our responsibility and we failed miserably," said Northport High School principal Irene McLaughlin. "The fact that the book went out in the form it did was a grave mistake on our part."

McLaughlin and superintendent William Brosnan said the yearbook's student staff and its adviser, teacher Robert Runyan, saw the quotations before they were published.

The district plans to send a written apology to parents this week. School officials would not comment on whether they would discipline the two seniors or Runyan.

Officials also are discussing with the yearbook's publishing company either reprinting the section in question or offering special tape to people who want to cover the quotes.

Compton's father, Steven, said that his son meant no harm in picking the quote. "I guess he didn't seriously consider the source; he was more interested in the quote," he said. "He's a child."

Now, let me get off on the right foot here. I am not a fan of Hitler. Adolph Hitler was the closest thing to evil the 20th century produced. But let's keep this in perspective. Look at the quotes these kids used: "Strength lies not in defense, but in attack." and "The great masses of people ... will more easily fall victims to a big lie than to a small one." What if Sun Tzu was given credit for these quotes? What if Britney Spears was given credit for them? What if they were listed as Anonymous? The quotes are simply words. They don't encourage violence or antisocial behavior. Perhaps it's my bias, but both quotes seem like a criticism of the Bush administration. To me, they seem like quotes that support the president's policies of attacking pre-emptively and lying to the American people about some major stuff. And the kicker is that Hitler said them, so the mind makes a connection: That stuff Bush's doing? Hitler's idea!

But the idea of all these administrators bending over backwards to apologize drives me crazy! The quotes are harmless. The power is in the name Adolph Hitler. Does the mere printing of his name mean that you support his legacy? When people sport stickers on their cars reading, "9/11/01," does that mean that they love the destruction of that day? No! It's simple acknowledgement of its existence. What if the quote said, "I don't eat meat because I'm a vegeterian. -Adolph Hitler"? The natural assumption to ME would be that this student is anti-vegetarian, not Pro Hilter!

Look, Hitler is almost a synonym for evil. When you compare someone to Hitler or a Nazi, it's the most extreme kind of accusation. So naturally, his name is a context-less lightning rod. Anytime Hitler's name is mentioned outside of the History Channel, it sparks knee-jerk reactions. "What? Hitler? How Dare You!" It's just like the word nigger. Of course the word nigger is an ugly, horrible word to call someone. If someone's yearbook quote was "Kill all niggers -Strom Thurmond," I could see a problem. But what if the quote was "Don't let anyone call you a nigger -Miles Davis"? The word is still there, but the context is different. (I don't suggest using any of these quotes in yourt yearbook, by the way...they're all made up to make a point.) I deplore the use of the word faggot. And yet, I love the Green Day lyric: "Well maybe I'm the faggot America; I'm not a part of the Redneck agenda." The point there is that if you're nt a redneck, you're considered a fag. Those are the two extremes we seem to live in. He's not actually calling someone a "faggot."

George Carlin once said about offensive words in context: "There's nothing wrong with the word 'nigger' in and of itself. It's the racist c***sucker who's using it that you've got to watch out for!"

So, while I'd never quote Hitler myself, I certainly believe it's perfectly OK to do so when the message is not one of hate. I promise my next post will be lighter and fluffier.

Time play catch-up.
Sorry, it's been a long time. A lot has gone on since May.
Firstly, I was deeply involved in a job from hell, which I will recount in glorious, excessive detail in the very near future. I had my 10th anniversary second honeymoon with my lovely wife in the Bahamas. A bartendress there asked me if anyone ever told me I look just like that guy on American Idol. "The host?" I asked. "No, that guy who sings..." "Taylor Hicks, the grey haired guy?" "Yeah!" Ouch.

I read two books by Jack Finney, called Time and Time Again and Time After Time. The second is the sequel to the first. The first one involves a guy named Simon, who is asked by the government to go back in time to 1880s New York City to do something which I won't divulge. The next 9/10 of the book is spent detailing what life and the world was like in 1880. The plot is only there to make it seem less like a history book. The second book continues Simon's trips through time, this time to 1912 New York City. Again, the bulk of the book seems to be in detailing life in 1912, with a time travel plot thrown in. Interestingly enough, Simon travels through time by way of the Dakota buildingg in NYC, because that building is one of the only ones functional now as it was in 1880. The Dakota also figures in such recently reviewed time travel books as The Time Machine Did It and Shroud of the Thwacker. Coincidence? After all this crazy time travel stuff, I went to the library to find something new to read. A copy of Slaughterhouse Five by Kurt Vonnegut was on the table. I picked it up and took it out. It's a classic and I'd never read it. So I start reading it and, among other things, it's about time travel! I can't get away from time travel books!

I also read an interview book called This Is Orson Welles. It's a fascinating and frustrating look at the life and career of Orson Welles. I could go on for days talking about Orson Welles, but I won't. At least not now.

Other than that I've been pretty busy at work, taking side jobs and trying to finish this CD project I started writing and recording about 8 years ago. Hopefully I'll be blogging you to buy it by the end of the summer. So that's it in a nutshell. I'll try to check in more often again. Ciao!