WALL-EWhat a great movie this is. I've seen it twice; once with adults and once with children, and both times I found it to be a monumental achievement in both animation and storytelling.
THE ARRIVAL by Shaun TanA wordless graphic novel that tells the story of an immigrant in strange, new land. Magical and emotional.
PRESIDENT-ELECT BARACK OBAMAI'm trying real hard not to sound naïve and cheerleader-like, but I am so excited and hopeful for a new era in this country.
CHINESE DEMOCRACY by Guns n Roses.The first CD in 14 years from Axl Rose and his rotating band of miscreants. Is it worth the wait? Well, no. Not really. It's good…at least most of it is, but it's not a finely-crafted work of art that you might expect from such a talented lunatic. Worth listening to, but not as the culmination of 14 years of work.
I also re-read Cormac McCarthy's THE ROAD and JRR Tolkein's HOBBIT and LORD OF THE RINGS, both awe-inspiring pieces of literature. I've read other books and seen other movies, as well, but nothing that really made me sit up and take notice. I saw several movies that I liked, too, but nothing that I'd really go out of my way to recommend. BURN AFTER READING was way better than I expected. Actually, I can say I enjoyed it more that I expected, not sure if it was actually a “good” movie.
In my own world, I've had a few experiences of note that I have not blogged about, so here is a sort of purge of some stuff:
4:00AM
It was September and we were sleeping with the windows open. Around 4 in the morning I was awakened by what I thought was a female voice. We live about a half-mile in either direction from a bar, and we also get teenagers walking past our block at all hours, so it's not totally unusual to hear drunk people laughing and talking loudly near our home. I just kind of shook my head and tried to go back to sleep. Then I heard it again and it seemed to be pretty loud; yelling, not just speaking loudly. I stuck my head out the window to see if I could tell how far away it was, or which direction it was coming from.
I have, to the consternation of my wife, been the guy who goes up to people and tells them to shut up. Our neighbor down the block likes to turn his truck's radio up to top volume while he washes it. We can hear it and feel it in our house, across the street and 4 houses down. I've told him to turn it down a few times. I walked 4 blocks to a house party once to tell them to turn it down, as I could hear them loud and clear at 10pm. The list goes on and on. I'm a cranky old fart, sue me.
So anyway it sounded really close so I decided to put on my robe and step outside and find the arguing drunks to tell them to shut up. I opened my side door and it sounded like the yelling was coming from VERY close. I poked my head out and saw a van idling in the street DIRECTLY in front of my house. In the driver's seat was a woman yelling into a cell phone, her window rolled down. I could hear her voice echoing off the neighborhood.
“FUCK YOU! Who the hell do you think you ARE! DON'T YOU HANG UP ON ME MOTHERFUCKER!!”
I was in shock. Was this woman seriously pulled over in a quiet neighborhood with the window rolled down at 4 in the morning screaming obscenities at the top of her lungs?
I composed myself and took a few steps forward. “Hey! Could you take it somewhere else, please?” I called.
The woman paused for a beat, then reached down and pulled something out of her truck and threw it down at my feet. It was a newspaper.
“I wasn't throwing that at YOU,” she explained, “I was just throwing it down.”
“Alright,” I said and she drove away.
It was my newspaper delivery person. The person who delivers Newsday was the maniac. I was so furious. Anyway, I went back to sleep eventually and called Newsday the next morning to tell them what had happened. They were appropriately apologetic and that's pretty much it. No big finish, sorry.
CRAIGSLIST
I frequently check out Craigslist.com for side jobs. One-shot video jobs, mostly. One day I found someone looking for an editor and I answered the ad. I got a long, long reply explaining the deal:
This guy, Robert Green, lived in England and he was going to start a porn business. All he needed was a couple of NTSC cameras, because he was going to sell these videos to Americans. He needed someone to buy the cameras and ship them to him and then edit the resulting footage into 2-minute promos, which I would then deliver to curious parties, who would then possibly buy the raw footage. He was going to send me a check to cover the cost of the cameras. You see, he had a seller already, but the seller wouldn't ship overseas. So, Robert Green would send me a check. Excuse me, Friends University would send me a check. You see, Robert Green works at Oxford University and did some freelance work with Friends University in Kansas, and he would ask them to send his paycheck directly to me. I would deposit the check. When the check cleared, I was to wire money to the seller in Kansas, who would ship the cameras to me and then I would ship the cameras to England. All this would be covered by the initial check, with $500 left over for my troubles and a goodwill gesture.
Now, this is obviously fishy, but I couldn't find the hook. I looked it over and over and tried to figure out how this is a scam and I couldn't do it. The amount of money he was talking about for editing this footage was life-changing. It seemed too good to be true. I kept asking the guy, “Why won't he ship overseas?” “Why can't you find an NTSC camera in England?” “Why won't you send me a check from yourself?” “Why don't you send the Friends check to the seller directly?”, etc.
He had answers for all these questions. I finally said, “OK, send me the check.” I figured, hey, if he wants to send me a check and wait for it to clear, what have I got to lose?
I finally found out what I had to lose. I found the scheme on the internet. What happens is that I get a fake check and deposit it. The bank thinks it's real and lets it clear. The money is now in my account. I send that money to the “seller” who most likely keeps it. Or maybe he really does send me cameras that I ship to England. Either way, I spend the money. Months later, someone at the bank finds out it's a fake check and I am now responsible for that money.
I get the check a day or two later. It's obviously fake. It's the same kind of check I get every payday. It's got a background pattern and perforations and everything. What it does NOT have, however, is microprinting or a watermark, which the check claims to have. It is also obviously printed on regular inkjet printer. The quality is just not good. I called Friends University and they pretty much said, “Yeah, we've gotten about two dozen of those in the last month. Just throw it out.”
I tried to think of ways to screw with this guy in England. I've heard of all these tricks, like sending them packages COD but they're filled with bricks, and stuff like that. But all of those schemes would cost me money, however small amount. I just kept stringing him along: “Nope, couldn't get to the bank today.” “No, today is Halloween and the banks are closed on Halloween in America.” “I was sick today.” “It's Election Day this week and there's riots all over town and the street to the bank was closed.” And so on.
Finally I just told him to fuck off and that I was stringing him along but got bored and now I'm done and I never heard back from him.
UNTIL
A month or so later, I was cruising Craigslist and I found an editing gig. I replied and got a long, long response from this guy named Robert Green who needed my help. I emailed him back and called him all sorts of names again. No big finish once again, sorry.
CRAIGSLIST 2
I was cruising Craigslist, looking for odd jobs (I do that, have I mentioned?). I came across a company looking for an editor. I replied and they responded back that they were an expanding company with many arms and they needed all kinds of people; artists, writers, musicians, videographers… I emailed the woman that I would like to come in for an interview, and that I already have a fulltime job and a wife and two kids, just so there's no surprises. She gave me a phone number to call. I called and got a voicemail. I left a message. I called again the next day and left another. No response. I gave up. Then I got an email confirming my interview. Da hell? I emailed her back and straightened it out with her. It seems he just has a different opinion of the definition of “confirm” than I do. Anyway.
I drove to the address provided and found myself in front of a kind of gardening store. There was a lot of hydroponic equipment and books. I went in and was greeted by a long-haired, bearded dude. I told him I was looking for this woman whom I'll call “C” though in real life she told me her full name. He said OK and went in the back to get her. Next, a woman walked up front and said Hi. I said, “Hi. Are you 'C'?” The woman kind of laughed and said, “No, when you meet her you'll see the difference” and walked away.
What the hell? What was THAT supposed to mean!?! The bearded dude came back and told me to go down the hall to find her door. As he said this, a woman popped her head out of her room and right back in. He said, “You see that woman who just popped out? That's her.”
Alrighty. I went to her office to find her smoking and leaning halfway out an outside door while talking on her phone. When she was done she came up to me to tell me how EXCITED she was to have me there, and that I have kids. Um…ok…. There were chairs all around us, but we stood, face to face the whole time. She told me, excitedly about all the talent that they're acquiring and how amazing this is going to be and vaguely explained that there are dozens of companies all involved under this plant store's flag. The guy who owns this all is a chemist, an inventor, a photographer and an alchemist. I interrupted and basically said, “OK, so what do you want ME to do?” She explained how they will be producing videos and podcasts and commercials for the web for all these websites that this company owns. OK, sounds reasonable. She told me I might have to travel and do I have any kids. I stared at her. “Yes. Two.” She went on about how great that was. We went over some more particulars and then everything changed.
I could feel the mood change in the room. She got quieter and told me that she wanted to make sure that I was on the same mindset as the company. Uh Oh. She went into non-specific things about worldwide horrors and politics and clear air and such. Okkaaayyy… I figured, Ok, they're a bunch of hippies and want to make sure I can sympathize. Fine. Then she goes on to say how there's no such thing as Global Warming! She stared at me with big eyes, waiting for a reaction. She told me that we're being lied to and really the Earth is moving towards a dark plane and THAT'S what's causing all the global problems of late. Again, the big eyes.
I'm sure I was smirking, but I was trying to play it cool. She went on about how we've been brainwashed to believe in Heaven and Hell, when in reality they don't exist! We are ALL divine beings! Oh good lord…
She handed me her iPhone and told me to watch this video. I did. It was a 10 minute video on Youtube. The first 2 minutes went on to describe how galaxies are formed. Then it went on to describe how the Earth travels in cycles through the horizon line of the Milky Way and that causes global warming and tidal waves, etc. Oh geez.
“OK, but…what does this have to do with hydroponics?”
“Because,” she told me, “we are going to have to learn to survive on our own!”
She asked me if I understood. I told her I understood what she was saying and that if she had video for me to edit, I'd certainly take a look at it. As she walked me out she continued to hammer home the fact that global warming is not man-made and that we won't be flooded out if the polar caps melt. She explained (with wild enthusiasm) that if you take a glass of water and put an ice cube into it, and the cube melts, the glass doesn't overflow. Ice takes up the same mass as water. Ergo, no floods. I decided not to get into the fact that millions of tons of glacial ice and permafrost are not floating in water. She went on to say that the Mayan culture was incredibly technologically advanced and then they were gone, and only now are we back up to speed. That was proof that the whole thing is cyclical. Again, I decided not to point out the fact that they killed each other regularly in ritual sacrifices. She never asked me to take an oath or swear an allegiance to anything or anything definitive like that. I would not be willing to do that, but hell, I'll edit videos for them.
As we stood by our cars, she continued to say how teenagers kill themselves so much because parents don't understand that they're full of hormones and just assume they're assholes. Also, last year, there were tsunamis in Asia and mudslides in South America AT THE SAME TIME. How can that be? Well, obviously it's because the whole earth is passing through the center plane of the galaxy…or something.
We said our goodbyes and I left. That night I got an email from “C” with several links to youtube clips and other websites. I actually found this one very interesting:
But the rest were just wacky. Then I realized most of this philosophy comes from the Ramtha movement, which is a kind of new-age quasi-cultish society that produced the “What the Bleep Do We Know?” series of films, which have been widely discredited as pseudoscience and quasireligion. Take a look:
So, in January, I expect to have some footage to begin editing. Should be interesting.
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