IF EVOLUTION IS OUTLAWED, ONLY OUTLAWS WILL EVOLVE

There was a huge story in Newsday the other day about the controversy over teaching evolution in public schools. I want to start off by saying that it's the year 2004 AD and the concept of evolution is considered "controversial." The very basic conflict is that scientists and most other thinking people believe that humans and other animals became what they are today through millions of years of mutations and natural selection, while religious zealots believe that God said "poof" and every species came into existence as they appear today.
Let's put aside our opinions about this for a second. Let's imagine that we are all adults and can respect someone else's differing opinion. It'll be tough, I know, but I think we can do it for 2 minutes. The religious folks want to either outlaw the teaching of evolution because it conflicts with the Bible, or else they want equal time for the "creation" or "intelligent design" opinion. What I don't understand is how religious beliefs have any place in a science class! The kids are there to learn SCIENCE. Science is constantly evolving. Textbooks need to be updated year after year as we discover new things. THAT is what Science is. I would not expect to learn about pronouns in a science class. If my crazy neighbor started shouting "Chickens are made of limburger!" I would not expect this hypothesis to appear in a textbook. What students learn in Science Class is a conglomoration of what scientists have learned. Why would you expect a Biblical story in there? Would you ever hear about inert gasses during Sunday school? Has any Bar Mitzvah speech mentioned aerobic vs. anarobic respiration? No! And why not? Because it's completely irrelevant! If you were in a Theology Class, I would fully expect the evolution/creation debate to be tackled in a fair and balanced manner. But "science," according to www.dictionary.com, means:
The observation, identification, description, experimental investigation, and theoretical explanation of phenomena.
Now, most of those words could apply to the creation theory, but not "experimental investigation." If you want your children to learn your Biblical values, then by all means, send them to a private Christian school. No harm, no foul. But why let Christian dogma enter the public school when you won't allow secular ideas into the Church? When I was in Hebrew School, I tormented the teachers there with questions like, "How come there were no dinosaurs in the Bible? Were Adam and Eve cavemen? Why were the fish spared in the great flood?" The teacher always said the same thing: "The Bible is not a history book." That was the greatest information she ever gave me.

Now, how could I live with myself if I were as hard-headed as the religious folks? I heard that last week in Georgia, a judge ruled on this very topic. Apparently, some God-fearing folk demanded that stickers be put on their science books reading: "Evolution is a theory, not a fact." The ACLU and other hippie-type folks demanded the stickers be removed because they indirectly promote creationism. Now, I gotta say, I don't agree. Evolution is a theory. Nobody can actually record the process in real time situation because it takes millions of years to happen and humans don't live that long. We also can't prove that George Washington existed. There are no photographs or DNA samples. Yet, it makes sense that we go along with the theory of his existence until proven wrong. Evolution is a theory and I see no problem with saying so in a textbook. If the sticker had read: Evolution is a guess, but the Bible is God's word!" then I would take offense at it. But it didn't.
There is an episode of FRIENDS in which Ross, the scientist learns that Phoebe doesn't believe in evolution. He spends the entire episode trying to convince her, to the point of harrassment. He states that evolution is fact and that Phoebe is just plain wrong. Phoebe counters by reminding Ross that hundreds of years ago, scientist were SURE that the Sun revolved around the Earth and before that, they were SURE that the Earth was flat. She convinces Ross in the end that a person can never be 100% sure about anything and that all beliefs, including Science, require a dash of faith. I always loved that.

So, to recap: I believe in evolution, but I acknowledge that humans know a lot less than what they don't know. I also believe that religious beliefs have no place in public schools, except in a theology class or similar line of study. Go rent Inherit The Wind. 'Night.